These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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