4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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