She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
