I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
