you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
