don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
