lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
