Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think your dad took our porno
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
