She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
did i walk over a car last night?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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