My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
