GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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