dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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