I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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