Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
