you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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