I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
