i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
