Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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