She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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