He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
