8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
