I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
