The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
And then he peed in my hair
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