Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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