hotel room ftw
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm too high and old for this...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
