i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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