I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
