my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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