worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
