Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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