The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
