i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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