If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
