Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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