I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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