Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
