I can tuck mytits in my pants
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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