I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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