bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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