I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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