why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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