He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
