My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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