i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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