whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
