I must be too annoying 4 u.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
