she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
