I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
