he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
