It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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